It’s Just Too Embarrassing‏

I work with a lady called Christine

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She is 44, and was about two stone overweight when she started

Christine explained to me she had no confidence and ALWAYS gets embarrassed

She wouldn’t go to the gym because of it

She trains in my private gym so no one will see her bits “wobbling”

(her words not mine)

But get this – I asked her why she gets so embarrassed

And she never actually does anything to embarrass herself

She said she has been like it since she was a kid

It’s more of a fear of embarrassing herself

That fear stops her

It stops her from saying things when in a group conversation

(even though she knows it would be a good thing to say)

It stops her from going places when invited by friends

She would never go to the annual xmas do

Because she doesn’t want to “walk into the room” where everyone is meeting

(again her words)

As expected, it’s ruining her life and she has no confidence

I told her these feelings are normal

I showed her how far she had come with certain aspects of the programme

She is now happy for some of my other clients to be in the gym at the same time as her

She says she’s not embarrassed as much now

She has gained what is referred to situational confidence

(and lost some weight too)

I explained this is what happens when you are exposed to something you don’t like

Over time you do just get used to it

Another strategy familiar to Christine is avoidance

But if you avoid it, it will only get worse

We hope to transfer her into the mainstream gym in the New Year

(although she is a bit apprehensive)

I have been afraid of that feeling of being embarrassed

As I have said recently, in the past I have been too embarrassed to say what I want

Too embarrassed to share the truth

Afraid of saying the wrong thing that I will embarrass myself

Did you ever fall over, slip or just make a COMPLETE arse of yourself in front of others?

Feels terrible doesn’t it

Apparently the feelings of fear and the worry of embarrassing yourself are quite common

These feelings can either paralyse you or motivate you

Stuart Miles FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some people have a NEED TO AVOID FAILURE

Others have a NEED TO ACHIEVE

As with Christine, she at first had a HUGE need to avoid failure (or embarrassment)

Now she is motivated by a need to achieve.

Some people will spend their entire lives AVOIDING FAILURE

It’s just their way to keep themselves safe, self preservation n all that

However other people will have those same feelings

And still manage to succeed

WHY?

They have a STRONGER need to achieve.

To make this shift from one mindset to the other

You need to be compelled – you need to be feeling some PAIN 

NOT necessarily physical pain, but emotional pain

The pain you feel when you hate yourself for letting everything slip

The pain you feel when you think of how the future looks with poor health

This is when you will change

You need to be SO compelled by your situation and circumstances

In your eyes – you have no other choice left but to TAKE ACTION

Hope your enjoying the stories as much as I’m enjoying writing them

Take care,

Richard

 

2 thoughts on “It’s Just Too Embarrassing‏”

  1. Wow, i’m afraid to say, that’s me but, that lady did the bravest thing and did something about it. I wish her well.x Cheers Richard.

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