She Has Feet Like Bilbo Baggins

Ok this is something no man has ever dared to talk about, I feel a little queasy just thinking about it.

Did you ever see the kids film Happy Feet?

Well this is about unhappy feet.

Today I will explore the phenomenon that is WOMEN’S FEET.

I have worked as a massage therapist for 20 years and worked training women for the same amount of time, so it’s fair to say I have seen quite a lot of messed up feet.

What is it with some women’s feet?

I have seen:

-Toes pointing in different directions
-Toes all in a clump
-Pretty girls with UGLY feet
-Toes nails that only a professional can touch
-Bunions the size of pickled onions

Feet can be a deal maker or breaker in a relationship too.

Some people have feet phobia’s.

The interesting thing is when I ask them how it happened…

I ask, was there some sort of horrific accident with some sort of farm machinery?

Of course it’s not.

It’s usually just SHOES.high heels

It seems, to me at least, that some women will do ANYTHING FOR FASHION.

They can endure PAIN beyond what is normal. They are willing to sacrifice ANYTHING, including their feet if the shoes LOOK NICE.

It always fascinates me that women have the capacity to put themselves through pain like this – just to have NICE looking shoes.

But the same women have huge stomachs and arses like the back end of a bus!

But they think fancy shoes and an expensive handbag will make them look good.

Not nice I know, but just saying it the way it is.

Of course there are “products” for arses and tummies too, I have written about SPANKS in the past.

but to me, it would seem easier and healthier to lose weight and get in shape, than having a lifetime of hiding your body, wrecking your feet and LIVING A LIE.

It’s like if no one can see it, it’s not there.

It’s just a big cover up.

But what do I know?

I’m just a clueless and confused man.

Richard “she has feet like a hobbit” Clarke

PS – Listen I can’t do anything for ugly feet, but I can do something about the rest of you.

For a limited time the doors are open for my personal training program in Swansea, South Wales.

Small Group Training (4 women)
Location: Birchgrove
Days: Tuesday & Thursday
Time: at 5.45pm-6.15pm
(warm up 5 mins before)
Cost: £80 per month

One – One Training
Location: Birchgrove
Days: Monday & Thursday
Time: 5pm-5.30pm
(warm up 5 mins before)
Cost: £320 per month

If you are interested in either of these opportunities, just hit reply and let me
know, I will send you the right application form.

For more details and to see exactly what you get are here:

http://personaltrainerswansea.co.uk/packages.asp

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *