I Asked Her Why? & She Burst Into Tears‏

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When I was in my twenties I was fortunate to work with a very special lady, we will call her Joy (because that was her name ;-)!)

I learnt lots from Joy and all because I made her cry!

Let me explain

Joy came to meet me for a chat and an assessment with a view to starting on a 12 week exercise programme.

Joy was a beautiful lady in her 50’s.

She was overweight by her own admission, but wasn’t fat but she was very tall and broad.

When Joy arrived I could tell straight away she was motivated but lacking in confidence.

During our assessment I went through the ins and outs of her nutrition and exercise history.

I’m aware that most people dislike or even hate exercise.

So I always ask people

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Why have they decided to start the programme now and not before?

Some people like Joy, simply say “I want to get a bit fitter and healthier”

My experience tells me it can be something else.

So I dig a bit deeper.

What will being fitter and healthier allow you to do?

She is like “um, er I don’t know”.

So I ask a different question and say

“What can’t you do now that you would like to be able to do? Can you think of just one thing?”

She started to fill up and I could see tears were streaming down her face.

I’m thinking “oh shit, what I have done here”.

I was only about 25 at the time.

She said “Richard all I really want to do is to be able to have a bath.”

I won’t lie I had a tear in my eye and had to keep it together.

Joy went on to tell me a story, of how she had lost her confidence going in the bath after a bad experience.

She had got stuck and had to phone a friend for help. Nightmare ;-(

She said that getting into the bath was ok, she did fit, that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was she didn’t have the strength in her arms to get herself up and out when she finished.

She was very embarrassed by the whole event and understandably hadn’t been in the bath since

She told me of how a bath had been her sanctuary

And how she would love to be able to have a good old soak again.

NOW Joy was really motivated, I had found a very powerful WHY.

So powerful it made her cry (and me nearly).

This is an important point.

We all need to find a STRONG REASON WHY we should do something

(diet, exercise, work hard, or learn Spanish for example)

A reason which is powerful enough to stir up some bloody feeling and emotion!

Back to Joy…

Her problem was causing her a lot of emotional pain.

When trying to make changes in our life, usually people move towards pleasure and/or as in Joy’s case away from pain.

Moving from the pain of not being able to have a bath (and towards the pleasure of having one again).

Why am I telling you this story?

Basically I don’t want you to be like Joy was.

Don’t let the grass grow under your feet, so you lose the basic physical abilities in life.

If you start to struggle with the stairs don’t buy a bleedin bungalow

Take it as a sign you need to get fitter – keep doing what you can.

If you start to adjust your life because you can’t physically do something it’s a slippery slope.

Don’t allow your ability to do everyday tasks to be taken away from you.

Once you start accepting things barriers start to appear

Everyday Activities NOT to Let Slip

• Walking (at least a mile)
• Bending to put your socks and shoes on
• Getting in and out of a chair with ease
• Walking up and down stairs
• Walking up and down a small hills and slopes
• Getting things from a low cupboard
• Carrying heavy items
• Lifting 20-25kg kg off the floor (same as a suit case for holiday)

If you are in your 40’s, 50’s or 60’s and CAN’T do some of the list above – you have to do something about it.

(Unless you have any medical conditions)

Don’t worry if you don’t know what to do though, because I will be providing video’s for beginners.

In the next few weeks I will give you the two basic programmes I use with my clients.

They will be great for people who basically want to get back to their previous best.

What happened with Joy in the end?

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After about 8 weeks she came up and whispered in my ear

“Guess what I did last night?”

After we had been through all the joking options

Joy told me she had had her first bath in over 2 years.

Joy was back being able to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

She could now perform everyday activities a bit easier.

The big lesson I learnt …

“Use it or lose it”

Don’t let your basic abilities to do everyday tasks slip away from you.

Or trust me, you will regret it.

I would love to know if you are struggling with any everyday tasks.

Or if you can you relate to this at all?

Hit reply now and tell me what you need help with the most, and I will include it in my videos.

Take care,



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