Chased By A Glue Sniffer

Ok my friend, I have a funny story.

But it wasn’t funny at the time, 20 plus years ago.

I grew up in the little Welsh village called Birchgrove.

Which with a name like that sounds idyllic. It was pretty cool, but there were always a few crazy people about the place.

There was this one guy, I was very scared of .

He was a glue sniffer.glue

He was pretty infamous in his day.

He used to scare the shit out of all the kids.

He would come in the park when we were playing and all the kids would run for it.

As I got older I became less scared.

One day we were in the park and we saw him coming but one of the older boys said:

don’t worry about him, he’s ok

So for the first time ever I stayed put and didn’t run.

I was still shitting a brick though, he was

Unpredictable and fast as lightening!

He was like an athlete. (maybe glue sniffing is performance enhancing)

So we’re all standing there, and over he comes.

He looked straight at me and said “gold chain”

Nothing else, just the words “gold chain”.

I had just come back from a family holiday in Spain, and had bought a lovely gold neck chain, for 1000 pesetas (£5).

Either way, this crazy glue sniffer, was right up in my face, glue bag and all, and he was grabbing my chain.

He was saying “swap swap” “gold chain”.

I knew it was fake.

But he wanted to swap it for something.

My mates convinced me it was ok. Big mistake.

I agreed to some sort of swap.

The chain got swapped for a HUGE platinum and onyx ring which turned out was worth a fortune and as I found out later, it had come from a burglary.

So there I was with this ring and he had my chain.

6-9 months passed by until I saw him again.

He walked passed me and turned back and gave me a second look and then he said

“mickey mouse gold chain”.

He then took out an iron bar and started to run towards me.

Now he may have been fast, but I was faster.

Thankfully my house is 50 yards from the bus stop.

I ran in the house and shouted “the glue sniffer is chasing me”.

My Dad asked the obvious question, “why son?”

I explained what had happened and my Dad made me give him the ring back.

Now I can laugh about it, but for years later I was so traumatised by it I carried a kosh around with me (a small police truncheon).

I never used it. But just incase.

Why do I telleth thee this tale today?

Because just like my glue sniffing friend, we all get distracted by SHINY objects.

And enter into the wrong deals.

When it comes to new diets, the shiny object syndrome definitely applies.

Ladies jumping from one diet plan to the next, getting distracted from what really matters.

Which is doing the basics right consistently – over – time (<— that’s the bit people struggle with most).

That’s it for today.

Rich “faster than a glue sniffer” Clarke

PS – I still see the glue sniffer today. People said he would die from it, but he is doing ok and I’m sure he has forgotten about it all by now.


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