Magic Knickers & Chicken Fillets

My clients tell me some shocking stories.

At least to me it’s shocking.

They tell me about what’s going on in the real world.

In the world of WOMEN to be more precise. In a world where there are many secrets men are blissfully unaware of.

Today I’m about to shatter the illusion (for many young men) by revealing the extent that women will go to “lose weight”.

Jeanne Claire Maarbes FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Jeanne Claire Maarbes FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Listen to this…

During one of these little chats with my clients I was told about the spanks shapers suits AKA Magic Knickers.

Basically for the uneducated out there (men) it’s like a corset, only bigger – think chest to knee length.

This is what I was told.

A lady, who can never be named

Wore one of these suits on a night out.

So far pretty normal

The trouble was, with her chosen outfit, every time she had to use the loo, she had to strip naked, and she also needed help to do it.

Apparently it was quite a funny sight, the more drunk she got.

I’m thinking “wow the things women will do to look good for a night out”.

It sounds like hard work and like it would spoil your night out, but what do I know.

I’m told this particular “version” was the full suit.

To give it a plug, and I haven’t taken any words out here, this really is the name – it was the Spanks Power Super Higher Power, High Waisted, Mid Thigh Shaper.

Now that’s a bleeding mouthful.

The thing is women like:

Kim Kardashian

Beyonce

Katie Perry

and other celebs promote this suit. (so it must be good, right?)

As far as my research can ascertain 😉 it has three different controls:
-medium
-firm
-extrafirm

Other options for the buyer include:
-Waist clincher
-Booty boosting shorts
-Bum boosting
…And if that’s not enough…
– Totally Transforming (apparently it’s “not for the faint hearted, for when you have to pull out all the stops”)

My personal favourite name was “slim cognito”.

I got my wife’s help with this, and it started out as a bit of a laugh, for me at least.

The adverts said things like “Take inches of your waist & eliminate back fat”

The dedication it takes is amazing. It seems, to me, that it’s a real ordeal to go through this just for a night out.

-You could say it’s deceitful (hence the name slim cognito)

-You could even say it’s lazy.

-Or you could just say it’s brilliant (and my wife bloody wants one).

I say the manufacturers have it spot on

It solves a BIG problem.

You don’t need to diet or exercise and you can look slimmer – immediately.

And I suppose it’s ok for one night or if you’re feeling “bloated”.

Of course as with everything some people see this as a good solution.

But in reality, you shouldn’t need me to tell you it’s not a good long term solution.

And the people who wear them know that
– and don’t give a shit.

My message today is this –

Pulling body suits over you head to pee
Using tit tape, to keep them boobies in place
Using Wonder bras or chicken fillets to make them bigger
Wearing Magic knickers to pull your bum in a bit

MUST STOP ONE DAY

You are just putting off the inevitable.

The longer you put  it off, the worse it gets.

You will need to get healthy and/or lose weight eventually.

Some of you are NOT ready yet, and some will never be ready, and that is fine, this getting healthy stuff is not for everyone.

For those it IS for, you know you have to do it properly.

The decision is just when.

Rich “are you putting off the inevitable?” Clarke

PS – If you do this stuff and you are married then that’s fine, there will be no surprises for your husband when you “reveal yourself”.

However if you are single and trying to mingle this stuff will mess up your chances if your new partner feels deceived.

Like in this video here (2min 15sec) sometimes everything is not always what it seems

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHFp8s_R1LU

 

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