Ok my little Hobgoblin, as it’s Halloween, let’s talk about some scary stuff:
Subscriber Mandy is being haunted by a terrible blood thirsty monster called the eat-crap-all-weekend-monster.
This monster roams the streets every Friday looking for women to force feed all weekend.
If you start to eat his evil (salt, sugar and fat filled) food, you wont stop.
He will relentlessly chase you, forcing you to eat more and more, and wont stop until you feel sick, vomit or pass out.
So I don’t recommend you leave the house on a Friday without your silver cross and some garlic.
And if you see him, the only way to stop this monster ruining every weekend, and leaving you feeling like a zombie every Monday is this:
Drive a stake through his heart, cut off his head and stuff his mouth with garlic.
Stay away from junk foods – like pizza, alcohol and chocolate – which this monster loves, and you’re safe.
Oh yes and stay away from dark dodgy places, Monsters love the dark and hate light.
AND . . . if you don’t want to fight this monster all alone, I recommend getting some backup from an experienced monster killer.
Grab your pitchfork and a bottle of holy water and go here now (3 options):
1.My online academy – https://www.richard-clarke.co.uk/academy/
2. One-one/group training – http://personaltrainerswansea.co.uk/packages.asp
3. My new slimming clubs (you need to fill out a form) –https://richardclarke.wufoo.com/forms/wbruzyl1ufk1mb/ (Llansamlet club)
PS – You’ll hear low moans and howls as you get closer, but be brave, don’t be afraid, this is the only way to defeat the eat-crap-all-weekend-monster.